Life

I haven't done much real posting recently. It is mostly because my life is crazy and I do not have time to sit down and actually use brain power. When I do post I like it to make sense and sound nice, but I realized today that it does not have to. Part of my goal for this blog is to journal my life with my kids to one day maybe look back on and laugh. Even if that is laughing at how I never make any sense. How fun for my kids to read what their mom was thinking and doing "back in the day".

So here it is. My life is crazy. Sometimes I sit down during naps and wonder how I am going to make it the rest of the day. What should I accomplish while they sleep. Schooling Kayla? Maybe clean a bathroom? Oh, no wait, laundry? Nope, I should read the Bible. Or perhaps read a story to Kayla. What am I thinking, I need to start dinner!

I get seriously overwhelmed at all there is to do and it seems, no matter how hard I try, that I never am able to get it all done. I understand this is ok. How many times have we heard that a lot of this is unimportant and will be forgotten in time. The important stuff is God, husband, and kids. Now, does anyone else still worry about the other stuff ALL the time like me, even when we know what is truly important.

Don't get me wrong, I understand and believe that running a good, clean household is also important, but not when it becomes such an idol that I am getting angry with my kids. What is interesting is during this week, while Anniston was running a temp and teething, I found myself playing with her more. I sat on the couch and read her books, played memory with the three of them, and we played outside a lot together. I guess it was because I felt bad she was sick, but the funny thing is, I found myself less prone to getting angry and a lot more patient.

Don't get me wrong, Annie still drove me crazy when she fell on the floor screaming because I had not idea what she was asking for and that makes her mad, but I was more patient with her. Instead of getting upset when she made a mess while I was cleaning, I had her help me clean. She loved it. I know that kids love to clean and that I should get them involved, but seriously, it makes it take forever and is a little annoying. But not this week. I had fun with them cleaning. I had fun reading them books and coloring with them.

I realize I will never get it all done. I would like to, but I will not. Finding the balance might be something I work on until I am dead, and I am not ok with that. In my mind I will find a way to clean the whole house, homeschool, play with the kids, make wonderful dinners, have lots of time with my husband and have time to spare. I am going to make a plan and incorporate it next week. Then I will fail and be mad and try a new schedule the next week.

My prayer for this summer is I will trust God to help me be content with whatever it is I do or do not get done. I pray that the most important things I will accomplish such as a quiet time, special time with the kids, and not be too tired or frustrated at the end of the day that my husband suffers the consequences. Intermixed with all of that my family will be fed and clothed and live in sanitary conditions, but most important, I pray my kids will know that their mommy loves to be with them. I want to make them laugh just like they make me laugh.

So how do I get it all done? I don't. Am I ok with that? Not really, but I want to be. It would probably make me a better wife and mother. I wonder if anyone feels like they can do it all? Apparently it would help me if one of my children was not feeling well once a week. That seems to help.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call rambling.......