Why is it that I so easily lose sight of the joy and privilege I have of staying home with my children? Well, I actually know it is because of my sin, but it concerns me when I get to a place of discontentment. Usually I know this is happening when I find myself getting frustrated or angry with them. Or, thinking that I "need" a break. And even having thoughts of what I could be doing, the money I could be making, and the recognition I desire from others about what I do (especially my husband).
It is hard when I get up every day to the same exact thing I did the day before. Annie wakes up, I feed her, Kayla wakes up after her, Wyatt wakes up last (mostly because it took him SO long to actually go to sleep the night before). I feed the older two. I put Annie down for her morning nap, try to get cleaning done while disciplining the kids for arguing, fighting, hitting, biting etc. etc. etc. I try to find fun things for them to do to keep them occupied and keep me from putting them in front of the TV. Annie wakes up, feed them lunch. Clean up and down for afternoon naps. After that I make any phone calls and emails. Kids wake up, start dinner, eat dinner, bathe kids and start the bedtime routine. Nowadays, that process with Wyatt seems never ending. Kids are down, spend some time with PJ, go to bed and start the same thing over again in the morning.
There are times I wish away this season of my life. The day Kayla can babysit her siblings, so I can go to the store by myself, or have a normal date night (without worrying and feeling like we cannot go anywhere because Wyatt might not go to bed!). The day they will occupy themselves and not want me to play with them all time time. Oh, and of course when I can actually drive somewhere without stopping to discipline for screaming in the car seat, or climbing out of the car seat.
The problem with all of this is that I am wishing away the time of have with my children. I cannot wait to put Wyatt to bed, but actually, I love it when he wakes up in the morning! He comes down stairs and does the same thing. "Hi mama. Time to wake up?? Kiss!" I love going into Annie's room to see her jumping up and down in her crib and laughing showing her adorable dimples. Watching six-year-old Kayla change her baby sisters diaper, or feed her lunch, or even just kiss on her.
Although I can be so discontent, would I trade what I am doing for anything else? No. But, I want to LOVE what I am doing. I want to have an eternal perspective about what I am doing. I want to remember that it is the greatest possible job I could have. I would not trade being able to watch my baby learn to walk for any job in the world. Or, sharing the gospel with my daughter and showing her how to be a wife and mother. Or missing out on the crazy things Wyatt says. (Yesterday he asked of we could go to Jesus's house. I said no baby, Jesus is in heaven. So, he asked if we could go to Chuckee Cheeses house) I get to teach my children to read, about how Jesus died for their sins, how to add and count to 20.
I pray that each day I will not take for granted, that I will not wish I was somewhere else, and I will thank God for how he has blessed me by allowing me to be at home with my kids. May all of us find joy in whatever season of life we are in, and not wish it away, because no matter what you are doing right now, we will all look back on this time as the season God has us in. May we not regret how we used it.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven
Ecclesiastes 3:1
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Trying to remember these moments in time
7 comments:
Jaime,
This was such a great reminder of how blessed we truly are! These days are flying by and soon we will wonder- where did all these days go! I want to LOVE everyday that I am home with my boys! I will start praying for that now :)
Julie S.
well said.
wow, our lives sound so similar right now :)
praying i will savor every day!
megan
Wow! I got tears in my eyes (until I read about Wyatt wanting to go to Jesus or Chuck E.'s house - whoever was closer ;o) haha!).
This is pretty amazing and I was telling my mom last night how amazing you are. Thank you for this incredible reminder. I long to be a wife/mom so much that I struggle with this but under different circumstances. I wake up every day and, as I'm getting ready, wonder if I wore no make-up and did not a thing with my hair (greasy though it may be) if I'd get in trouble. ;) It sure would beat having to do that every morning! How nice to not have to think about whether what I wear looks nice enough to wear to the office. The mundane-ness of some of the tasks I do at work seem so boring and trivial (who cares about that letter?!?!) compared to the joys and privileges of being a mother - a high calling indeed! Then (at the end of incredibly long and exhausting days when I've almost made myself sick with work) I get to go home. Yay. Home to what? Someone else's house - I can't wait. I have one little room in the entire house called 'mine'. A retreat, for sure, but not what I would have planned for myself...and that's just it! It's not what I would have planned for myself! But my life and all the things 'wrong' with it are part of God's plan for me. And I know His plan is good and perfect - that my circumstances are exactly what I need to help me conform into the image of His Son. Is it still hard? You bet! Have I reached the place where I wouldn't trade it for anything? Nope. I would give it up in a heartbeat. But I do pray that God would give me grace and strength to be grateful with where He has me at THIS moment. So, THANK you for this reminder!!!!
P.S. I did want to note that I do LOVE my family and job. ;o)
I recognize.
And Jenn--
Do us all a favor and keep the hair tamed.
I teared up as well......probably because I'm in the exact same boat!! I can so relate! Thanks for the post. I certainly needed to hear it.
Could a mother be more proud of her daugther? Could I experience more gratefulness to God as I read your words? Could God be more pleased with your heart to honestly admit your struggles while longing to live with a biblical perspective on your life?
Sometimes I watch you mother my grandchildren and it takes my breath away. I can't breathe right now.
I love you!!!!
Okay, so you can make us all cry!! =) Thank you for sharing so honestly. I journaled about this same thing not so long ago, and yet reading your blog and hearing this today is so timely. Isn't God so good to give us exactly what we need when we need it?! And when I do find myself becoming discontent with the mundane everyday tasks of caring for our family and home, I'm so grateful for God's gentle correction and reminders that what He has given us are real gifts and time is going to go by real fast! I don't want to miss out on a day of these seasons with my girls, even if they are difficult and monotonous at times! We have been given such treasures, and how amazing that we can stay home and see them learn and grow and be such a big part of their wonderful little lives! =)
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